A few weeks ago a friend of mine stated that the bidding rate for him for a marriage proposal was Rs.10 million…to which i was ok…this happening triggered a thought process and i was led to conduct a small survey across communities to check the rates prevalent.
To begin with my own community, i began with what are the varied nuances used for the biddings…in our community the…”Boywallas usually say…we have everything…if you wish to give something you can give it to your daughter… , however we wish that the wedding should take place on a grand scale”…an implicit hint that means “The wedding, functions and the stay will be at a 5 star or a 7 star hotel, plus travel will be paid for mostly airfare for all the relatives, then the girls side will provide clothes plus cash for the boys side…the rates are nowadays fixed at 3000-8,000 per person…however this differs from family to family” this is for the women and men relatives who attend the wedding. The cash, blankets and clothes are distributed at the Milni function. However, the father in law is given a Cash, Gold kada and a chain…if the groom has a brother, an uncle (most of the close men relatives are given these two things…).. thereafter begins the engagement ceremony at which the boy is given a Gold kada, the ring, cash (more than a lac in cash as shagun), a gold chain, a branded suit, etc…the mother in law is given a set, if a bhabhi or sister is there then even they are given the same…grandmothers are given a set if still suhagan or else a gold chain and cash……
Most of these things happen and if cash is given it is usually given in the name of the girl…post which the girl is not expected to work in the house and should be provided with servants and all the luxuries.
Now moving onto Bihari’s, a few of my colleagues are in the process of seeing a girl…so they said that a guy who typically earns 35k a month and is an mba gets upto Rs10million, if he is an IAS officer he gets Rs30-60million, if he is a government servant it is almost 1-2cr and if he is a doctor he gets Rs20million..they said…the wedding person conducts the wedding bidding, the highest bidder gets the sale tag…and then after which Kundli’s are matched at times they don’t even match Kundli’s and don’t even get a chance to see the bride…and are married directly…the weddings have a number of Dwar Poojas at every Pooja, the boy is given an obscene amount of cash…post which they sit at the wedding mandap only after the cash is given to the family..another thing is where a little zor zabardasti is done..For example, my friend’s cousin is a doctor…an MLA in Bihar went to his house and said…”Hume mallom hai ki aapka beta Delhi main doctor laga hua hai..hume woh pasand hai…ya toh aap seedhe seedhe shaadi ke liye han bol dijiye ..nahi toh hum aapke bete ki shaadi karwane ke baad aapko milwa denge..aap kharche ki chinta mat kijiye…at the wedding they spent an obscene sum of almost 40 million of which they bought them a house at Delhi, a car, cash and other things…to which they were provided money in case needed…
Theerafter i met a person from Tamil Nadu and a Kerala…a Tam and Keralite bramh…to which he said…in ours we expect gold…kilos and kilos of gold…the girl. It is expected that the girl should be covered with gold. It is considered very auspicios…an Mumbai friend of mine with a salary of Rs.1 million per year would get almost Rs8-10 million.
Then i moved to Bengali’s here the bidding was optional…in case the family demands otherwise it isn’t there. It depends from family to family…
Now to Uttar Pradesh, here the rates are the worst, esp the Brahmins or the Thakurs with the highest dowry deaths reported…the dowry rates are obscenely high…with the same rituals like Bihar, but a bit more stable. Even here the families have a straight outright conversation about the bidding.
Then moving to Maharashtra, the Bidding doesn’t take place to a great extent among the working professionals, and there is a concept of a 50-50 expense sharing ratio between the girl and the boy side…however, Zamindars or big agriculturists have a high amount . with few demands…most of the weddings are very simple.
Then moving to Rajasthan, the average rate is Rs 5 million for a normal man…however, in case you have a special requirement one’s bid can go upto Rs 20 million – 30 million. Even here the weddings are quite lavish…with bidding done quite openly.
So overall the weddings are an expensive affair with varied rates across India states with UP and Bihar having the highest rates…I wouldn’t say that these rituals are bad…but it depends various families..