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Archive for November, 2013

Misconceptions

I know I am not vocal about quite a few things. But this unnerves me. You getting annoyed and upset over something. You tell me’you have other friends’. I dont care about most of the 99% YOU call my friends. They are acquaintances. I never go and share what I feel with them, I care for your well being not theirs. I get worried when u dont come to class, I dont worry about them. I care when u look upset and ur in despair. Ur important to me, why cant u understand. Just because someone sits with me or I laugh with someone does not warrant my trust in them. Just because people ask me does not make me their friend. I may look calm and composed, friendly to all. But just look a layer below,you will know it all. If you were keen at observing, look into my eyes. Trust, friendship and all begins there. Dont go on my smile. You will be deceived.  Cause there is something deeper inside.

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It was the 19th November, my brother calls and informs me that she is no more. She passed away. Although, it took me some time to sink in with the news that she would never be here. Physically leaving this world.

I will never see her, never hug her, never touch her, never put my head on her lap, sit on her lap, never speak to her, fight with her, take her to the gurudwara, take her for a walk, tease her, trouble her in a childish way, never hear her voice again. Never ever again.

Although tears stream down my face as I write this post, this is an ode to her. To everything she was to me: a mother, a friend, mentor, a doting grand mom who loved me unconditionally. 

 

I remember the times, when I was 5 years old when I wrote the letter “I count live without you”, I still remember the nights when you used to teach me maths, the nights when we used to chat into late hours, when you used to prepare variety of paranthis (using veggies) cause I used to not eat veggies, come to pick me up from school, to drop me at my tuition, to see me off to every place, I still remember when I was in nursery and used to never sit in class (You used to sit in the class with me). The day I fed you bread and milk since you didnt eat food, when you got operated for your cataract, etc. Numerous occasions. I still remember every moment as if it was yesterday….

You were the world to me…I will always miss you. No one can replace you or your love. No one can ever take your place. I will always love you forever, you will always be my “Indira”

 

 

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