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One seldom realises, how one falls in love. Its a realisation that dawns gradually over one s mind and heart. 

You start with liking and eventually, the person becomes the centre of your life. You care so immensely for that person. You get concerned about the slightest things that may hurt them. What they like or dislike. You feel protective towards them. The mere thought of something happening to them becomes unbearable, unthinkable at times.

All that one can say is “You matter to me at such a sublime level”, that seeing you smile makes your day. 

Seeing the person happy is all you wish. You care, you get concerned and at times turn possessive towards them. But this happens in a good way. It is the most beautiful feeling one can experience. 

Knowing that someone cares so much for you is the best thing that can happen in life.

However, love does not mean you wont argue with each other. It takes time for people to adjust to each others needs, to understand what one expects from the other. But these arguments don’t make things worse. It makes bonds stronger. So love does not always mean a hunky dory life. It means being there for each other “No matter what”. It means “I am there for you, I accept the way you are and I would never want to change anything in you”. You are wonderful.

Love is always unconditional….

 

 

I have been rereading the classic novel by Lewis Caroll – “Alice and Wonderland”.

The book indicates the level of unquestioned power enjoyed by the queen, the submissiveness of the followers and the kings men as a method for survival.

It lays out the behaviour of the victorian queen in a very methodical way. It enumerates how dictatorial the queen was in the earlier 18th and 19th century. She didnt heed to reason but simply issued a verdict “Off with his head”.

The book looks at the victorian era in a different perspective, it draws a parallel with the real queens behaviour and mocks how tyrannical the queens regime was with respect to the countrymen.

Alice s protest and questioning does not go down well with the queen. However, her existence in the imaginary world is superfluous and she is not bound by the rules and a realistic situation.

 

 

Misconceptions

I know I am not vocal about quite a few things. But this unnerves me. You getting annoyed and upset over something. You tell me’you have other friends’. I dont care about most of the 99% YOU call my friends. They are acquaintances. I never go and share what I feel with them, I care for your well being not theirs. I get worried when u dont come to class, I dont worry about them. I care when u look upset and ur in despair. Ur important to me, why cant u understand. Just because someone sits with me or I laugh with someone does not warrant my trust in them. Just because people ask me does not make me their friend. I may look calm and composed, friendly to all. But just look a layer below,you will know it all. If you were keen at observing, look into my eyes. Trust, friendship and all begins there. Dont go on my smile. You will be deceived.  Cause there is something deeper inside.

It was the 19th November, my brother calls and informs me that she is no more. She passed away. Although, it took me some time to sink in with the news that she would never be here. Physically leaving this world.

I will never see her, never hug her, never touch her, never put my head on her lap, sit on her lap, never speak to her, fight with her, take her to the gurudwara, take her for a walk, tease her, trouble her in a childish way, never hear her voice again. Never ever again.

Although tears stream down my face as I write this post, this is an ode to her. To everything she was to me: a mother, a friend, mentor, a doting grand mom who loved me unconditionally. 

 

I remember the times, when I was 5 years old when I wrote the letter “I count live without you”, I still remember the nights when you used to teach me maths, the nights when we used to chat into late hours, when you used to prepare variety of paranthis (using veggies) cause I used to not eat veggies, come to pick me up from school, to drop me at my tuition, to see me off to every place, I still remember when I was in nursery and used to never sit in class (You used to sit in the class with me). The day I fed you bread and milk since you didnt eat food, when you got operated for your cataract, etc. Numerous occasions. I still remember every moment as if it was yesterday….

You were the world to me…I will always miss you. No one can replace you or your love. No one can ever take your place. I will always love you forever, you will always be my “Indira”

 

 

New life @IIMRaipur

group activity simulation exercise

Let me say, a new life has begun with new goals, new friends, new places, etc. Life has taken a 360 degree turn for the good. To be precise it has been 3 weeks since I joined the institute. I have had mixed experiences till now. The good part about the place is that i have made good friends and found a few good teachers.

The flip side is that like every other institute, there are a number of rules and regulations to be followed and a big number of assignments.

However, the overall experience is good. We began the course with a number of activities, conducted by Paraxis. We played a number of simulation games, kiddish games, etc during the first 5 days. This helped us break the ice with the new batch of PGP students. It was so much fun… Eventually, we understood the basic idea behind these games. It was to instill in us the feeling that we should all work towards achieving a common goal.

Post the 5 day sessions, we began with our usual classes. Now comes the bad part, we have a session that lasts 1.5 hrs…OMG, who in their right senses can concentrate for hours together. Not only does one have to concentrate in the class but also ask pertinent questions and answer sensibly…

The saga does not end here, during classes, most of the fellow students doze off…this is a pretty hilarious site. Because we are busy waking up each other…this is much better than the teacher himself or herself catching us red handed…

So in short, after our guest lectures by eminent personalities such as CM’s, CEO’s, MDs, ISKON people, etc and regular classes; we do end up enjoying our night rendezvous at the canteen with Maggi (2 minute noodles), sleeping at 2am and other things. Indeed a beautiful life at a Campus… 🙂

 

 

Sometimes you are all alone. I realize that more often. People whom we trust betray one and one who is an outsider turns out to help you the most. Life is so different now, but I have come to terms with it. 

I do feel bad at times but, things are going to be this way. Loneliness is a part of my life. I have to learn to accept it and move on. With a handful of people to trust..

I can share secrets with only two people in my life…I trust them, they have been with me through out.

I am about to begin a new chapter in my life. Leave things behind, I don’t want to carry an emotional baggage with me…I hope I am able to make my new chapter of life a success…

Life is very funny…One can never predict what happens. But whatever happens, happens for the best. I used to ponder over the fact that why does God always make me take another route for every choice I make. He never likes to give me things easy, makes me work hard for everything. But this is true for most of the people around. If you want to achieve something, you must work hard…harder and smarter…

In the end, God will always give you something you deserve and what is the best for you..As if he forms a protective layer around you…

I do agree that life does not give things easy, one has to fight for everything. But in the process of achieving things, one should never forget being compassionate, humble and forgiving. These three values are the pillars of one’s life. Without these 3 values, one starts living a mechanical life.

Firstly, when one starts becoming compassionate. It does not mean you are not objective. One can remain objective, but with a touch of sensitivity. For eg: If someone is ill don’t harass the person to do your work. Let him/her have a time off and trouble them later for your work.

Secondly, being humble is another value that helps you throughout life. One should not have pride, cause pride is the source of destruction. We all have elements of pride within ourselves, I agree I have pride. But I want to get out of that rut. As a process of getting out of the system of pride…I was proud once upon a time that I owned a lot of expensive things. But over a period of time I realized that these things did not give me lasting happiness. Within a second you can lose your life and all these material things will remain on this earth. However, pride for material goods is not the ultimate. The second step of my journey is to do away with a few other elements of pride. I wish to be humble cause material goods don’t last but humility pays off…

Thirdly, it is very easy to lose your temper at someone and keep the thought in your head that this person did something wrong. But honestly, anger inside you will burn you. You have to learn how to forgive. Lately, i learned that by merely saying “I forgive you for whatever wrong you have done to me knowingly or unknowingly” gives a sense of relief…

My paternal grandmom had fallen down in her house at MP and when I heard this, I told mom, lets get her here. A bit background on her, she used to treat me unequally and misbehave with me cause I was a girl. She used to go to the extent to give me stale food when she used to visit us during my summer vacations. Pick up food from my plate and give it to my brother or dad.

But my dad was very just and he used to place the food back on my plate. He has always treated me and my brother equally. But these small incidents etched a bad feeling towards my paternal grand mom. However, with the passing years, I realized that If I continue to hold a grudge against her, i will only cause myself heartburn.

I decided to let go off this bad feeling. I do understand she is very conventional and has old notions that boys should be given more importance than girls. But this is due to her traditional mindset.. But I realized the more I think about all the negatives, the more I feel annoyed about it. Finally, I decided that I should let go. This thought relieved me of all the negative thoughts and forgiveness helped me let go….All I need is to forgive

 

come down permanently to stay with us.