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Archive for March, 2012

Walking hand in hand

You will always try to show you don’t care

You will just show how you don’t know

It is just the reverse of what you show

All you do is care and know

You are like a rock in my life

The rock that never lets me get hurt

To hold me if i fall

To let not a tear drop onto the ground

To lend me your shoulder when i need it most

Never complain even when i crib the most

You never ignore me in the least

I can call you even in the midst of a heavy week

You lend me a patient ear

You care to know where I am and what I do

You are there when i need you the most

You know when I have a high or low

You get angry when I tell you something annoying

But forgive me at an instance when I say a sorry

I wonder what i had done to gain a friend like you

It is wonderful walking hand in hand with you

🙂

 

 

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The foundation completed 10 years today. A small celebration was arranged to mark the event. I have been working 14-16 hrs a day at office. Viney mam called up and said, you have to help me arrange things. Get hold of the volunteers and arrange. I felt the world crashing on me, but eventually, we managed pretty well. a feeling of happiness lingers at what all we have done and how teams work to achieve a common goal.

The day began with me waking up late since I reached home at 11pm, by the time I slept it was 1.30am. Phew, I didn’t feel like waking up or getting out of bed. But we had the function to be handled. We reached the school, looked after the arrangements, slowly guests started trickling in and we received them. I knew most of them, principals, kids, well wishers, donors, trustees, volunteers, etc.

Being associated so closely, I know them, I can chat with them. Then began the session where a short presentation mentioned about GREATs achievements. Looking back at the past 3 years, i have made some life long friends, learnt a lot of things on my journey and a few valuable lessons that will help throughout my life. 

A touching experience when you see the children who you have taught showing you recognition, giving you a hug, etc. A great feeling indeed.

Some silly moments with fellow volunteers, some arguments, some disagreements, eating out of a single plate, getting scolded, being there, etc. Lending a helping hand, being a good listener, helping them out, being helped out, etc.

Meeting the new faces, old faces, interacting with them.

All these things bring a smile on your face. Good memories all the way and if troubles bothered me, they lasted a short while.

After the presentation, we volunteers binged on the food available, we all had come without breakfast, so we were busy eating. In short we don’t need to pretend to be someone, we don’t need to put on any pomp and show. We are basic humans who come together work to give back to the society. Indeed we are blessed to have such a dedicated lot of volunteers 🙂

 

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Anger is technically defined as a natural emotion and emerges in situations when something goes haywire in our lives.

We usually see a lot of gyan floating around anger management, anger management tips, and techniques. How far are we able to implement them or even practice them? Most of the people who claim that we are calm behave contradictory to their belief.

So my fundamental question is:

Is it normal to react wildly, get wild, angry, throw tantrums, abuse the other person, and behave rudely?

or is there a better way to channel your energy into something more productive?

Here lies the choice one makes and this choice helps a person manage anger- become a saner and more level headed person. I won’t say that one needs to choose the first choice, though one would naturally opt for the easier one.

For example,

Who would you choose as a friend, a person who is level headed and calm or a person who gets annoyed and throws tantrums at the drop of a hat?

I guess the answer is obviously the calm and level headed person. But why would you choose such a person, because they don’t fly into a fit of rage when you say something, don’t overreact, don’t end up abusing or saying hurtful things, etc.

Keeping the rage supressed within you is not anger management. It will eventually surface in a wild reaction at some future point. This does not make you a calm person. On the contrary, it is only postponing your rage with a worse outcome.

I believe that addressing ones anger issues is normal and the first step is to identify why an incident or a person made you feel angry. A stranger on the road won’t make you go into a fit of rage, unless you are an extreme case of anger mismanagement.

After you have identified why you have become angry, you need to channel your energy into something productive.

Channelling your anger can be done with the help of adopting a rigorous exercise regime, eating chocolate or even listening to songs or even crying. These are tried and tested measures and they really help. A rigorous exercise regime is more rewarding at the end compared to the temporary methods mentioned.

Now moving onto managing an argument

It is difficult to manage an argument but not impossible. For example, you may speak to a person in a chatty way and he/she may respond rudely to you. The first reaction is to retort. But the other way is to just keep quiet at the moment, let them vent out. Listen to what the other person is saying. In case both the parties had ended up responding with anger, the situation would get worse. However, since one party does not respond in an angry tone the situation is well managed. It helps you handle conflicts well without severing relationships.

Imagine if A and B were speaking and suddenly the conversation turned into an argument, what would the result be. If both of them went into a fit of rage, A would blame B, B would blame A, they would even speak harsh words or even end up name calling and speaking things that would hurt each other’s egos, etc. When one gets angry your reasoning ability and senses reduce to zilch. You don’t seem to speak sense. But at the end of an argument, you realise one should not have said some things.

In short, if one party is angry, the other party has to remain silent at that moment, however, you can speak to the person once he/she calms down.

This seems easier said than done, but when you manage a large number of people you learn the art of anger and conflict management. One has to remain calm and level headed compared to blowing off their top at every instance.

Hence anger and argument management is essential no matter you are faced with personal or work related issues. As they say anger thrills but anger kills relationships (this is adapted from an English phrase).

In short anger can:

1. make you lose friends

2. Sever relationships with family

3. Make you lose a job

4. Get you into a lot of trouble

5. Make you look like a tantrum throwing person

6. Make people think you are a bad team player

7. Stigmatize you as a bad leader and so on

the list goes on 🙂 So good luck and manage that anger  a tad better.Image

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We usually use these social network platforms on a regular basis, but we never bother what are the etiquettes to be followed when using these platforms. An interesting read.

Just like real life, there are (sometimes unsaid) etiquettes to be followed on the net. Internet etiquettes or ‘netiquettes’ as they are sometimes referred to, are simple manners, similar to the ones followed in the real world, that help others get a better perspective of you through your online behavior and interactions. 

Whatever text you need to post online, whether your text is intended for one or for many, these are a few of the common rules that will earn you some respect and help you to be taken more seriously when needed.

1. Never use capital letter: Typing out anything in capital letters online is considered equivalent to shouting or yelling. Be it emails, chats, social networks or any discussion forum, refrain from using capital letters, unless you actually want to imply that you are yelling (which is also not usually done since most people take offense). If you post in capital by mistake, apologise, explain & delete.

2. Emoticons: Emoticons smileys are a fun and cute way of expressing your feelings and state of mind. However using too many in a single sentence can be annoying. As a general rule, for a small post, do not place more than two emoticons in a single sentence. Also, do not place emoticons in official email conversations or anywhere you need to be taken seriously.

3. Acronyms: As far as acronyms are concerned, stick to using them in an instant message or chat. Using common acronyms like omg (oh my god), imo (in my opinion), lol (laughing out loud) and so on are usually accepted, but be prepared to explain when asked – not everyone is familiar with acronyms. Using them in email is considered rude. Another general rule is that you should not use more then two acronyms in a single sentence.

4. Language: Always use correct spelling, grammar and punctuation. Not only does it make you appear more professional but also makes the person reading your email/post take it more seriously. If you’re not sure, use a spell check tool before posting your text because incorrect words and grammar can lead to misunderstandings. If you must send a long email or post a long comment, add spaces between paragraphs or add points to make it easy to read.

5. Do not spam: Spam is defined as sending links or mails to a person without his/her consent. No one wants to see useless advertising links and unrelated posts on a discussion forum. Many forums and message boards follow a strict no spam policy – if you post any spam, you might get a warning or two, but you might also kicked out immediately. If you send spam by mistake or your email ID was hacked, apologise, explain the situation and delete the post (or inform the moderators/webmaster).

6. Do not flame someone: Flaming or bashing is a term used when one person abuses or insults another person over and over on the internet. This is considered very rude, especially because comments are usually publicly viewable. If you have issues with what someone is saying, voice your protest, but politely. 
If you know the person, take your argument offline. If you are the victim of flaming, don’t retaliate. Instead, file a complaint with the moderators/webmaster who will take necessary action to warn or block him/her. 

Source: Tech article Times of India

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/tech/itslideshow/12393651.cms

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A few days ago, outside my room window sill a little bird made its nest. She put together a few twigs barely 15-20 and the nest was ready..post which she laid an egg. I guess the bird is a variant of a pigeon, though she doesnt look anything like that, i still need to confirm the breed from my friend who is an ornithologist. The eggs are yellow white and almost an inch big. Originally she laid one egg and today she laid another.

Since the room is my bedroom and there are plants kept in the window sill, I water them regularly and the birds nest has aroused interest in studying the little birdie s behavior. Over the past few days I have been studying her behavior at regular intervals.

I noticed the following:

1. Like a human being the bird is very possessive about her eggs.

2. My friend had mentioned once never, touch the birds nest or the eggs – she will abandon it. So i have followed that rule diligently. Cause whenever i go to water the plants she becomes extra alert.

3. The father bird and mother bird hold a discussion during the early morning and then decide on the eggs monitoring.

4. The mother bird, sits on the eggs exactly for around 5 hrs during the day.

5. The father bird, brings food for the mother bird at intervals and relieves her from looking after the eggs during the day.

6. One thing i noticed was that these birds have a great sense of instinct and direction, she chose this spot since it is away from snakes, cats and other predators. They chose safety for the kids to come

7. Another thing was that the mother bird continues to sit on the eggs despite the heat, the window sill is not fully covered and becomes pretty hot, it must be quite troublesome for her i guess. But ultimately that is what mothers always do. They sacrifice for their kids no matter what happens.

8. I was touched so have put a small shade thing for her plus placed a water bowl, after all she is a living being 🙂

I shall put up videos when the fledglings hatch :))

here are the photos of the eggs :)) so if I chirp about this topic please don’t mind am just fascinated with their behavior. :))) how human they are yet they are birds.

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We were randomly discussing what do you look for in a partner?

I started thinking what i needed, suddenly realizing, i don’t want someone to buy me fancy stuff like a BMW car or a diamond set or anything fancy, maybe gift me a few things here and there but not a top priority. I wish to earn all my life, till i grow 80 years old, i have just begun my journey, i have so many plans in place they all need to be realized. I hope to be able to fulfill all the material needs, but money is something temporary and it is not the basis of every relationship. One needs to sustain and remain comfortable, that is it. Other than that nothing else is needed.

If money is not the constraint, then what else do i need, i need a companion who i can trust, share and look up to when i am happy or get lonely or maybe feel low. Who stands with me, directs me in the right direction, is like a rock in my life, dependable, patient.

Other than that he should be a companion with whom i can be myself and doesn’t demand me to change a 100%, a 40% change is acceptable cause each relation desires that bit. With whom i can speak my mind freely, yet does not judge me for what non sense i speak…

Looks don’t rank too high with me, cause ultimately looks are temporary they don’t last…

A very important factor is that he should not get jealous of my guy friends, I am very clear what relationship I enjoy with my friends, and the guy has no reason to worry about it..i am a stickler when it comes to loyalty..just try me on that count and trust me..i will never cheat.

Well educated and intelligent is a big must, otherwise i might run away… 🙂

I have always been scared of commitment, but if these things are there i won’t worry saying an “I do”

Other than these things I wish no more, not at least now…

So if i rank it

1) Companion

2) Well educated

3) Intelligent

That is it nothing more…

 

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We were seated at a coffee shop discussing how people have changed over the years. But we all laughed out in unison…We are a group of friends from school and college, phew it has been 12 years now being friends…knowing how our lives turned out and where we need to go, what our achievements have been, what our weaknesses are, etc, etc. There is no hiding from each other what we are…

We stated yes but it is different when we start working. We make friends at work, friends we meet along the way etc..Yes we stated in unison again. But they are not all friends some are acquaintances, some are just work colleagues, some are people who want to get their work done, etc. But maybe 1% of them become as good friends as old school and college buddies. Acquaintances look at what they can get in return, how they can get work done from us, what benefit will our friendship lend them, they don’t care if you have a low, you are going through a rough patch, etc. 

If we look at our past and present when we made or make friends we never looked at things like what backgrounds we came/come from, whether our parents were/are rich, whether they own cars, what their salary or our salary is, what jewellery one wears, what brand of clothes one wears or perfume one wears, etc… we never even bothered about these things. 

But today the more and more people you meet, they view you in monetary terms – driving an expensive car, showing off a trendy phone, wearing expensive jewellery, the list is never ending. They view you on the outer look (fair/good looking) compared to knowing the person that you really are.. They judge you on the high valued assets you possess compared to the good qualities one possesses. One wonders, do all these things matter in life..is money and looks the only thing that can measure a friendship..

The answer to this is a blatant NO!! Money is not the number one priority in life, many people feel that outer appearances are more valuable than anything. But if someone feels that way. they are not friends, they are just (acquaintances) people who are shallow. They don’t know what it means to be there for someone when it is needed.

To laugh out loud and share a cup of tea when one is out of money..to call up in the midst of a busy day and say “Hey i need to speak to you” or even call at 2am in the night and say “Hey tell my parents am safe and have reached Spain, I can’t get through them” that is what friends are..you don’t maintain an account of who has done what for you or how many times you or they have spent on dinner. You get drenched in rain and still go and watch the “Harry Potter” movie on the first day…freezing in the AC. 

This is what friends do, they don’t look at your skin colour, your wallet size or even your fancy outfit, all they care is about you..and that is what matters. 🙂 I am lucky to have friends who care

 

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